b-a-n-a-n-a-s

this past week i peed in a cup twice. got blood drawn twice. and got fingerprinted at the police station. ....i decided it was a good week to make banana cream pie.

bonappetit+seriouseats=oyez.

no food processor? just use three fourths cup peanut butter.

no bananas? ...don't make the pie.

i hate cake

understandably, it sounds like blasphemy. even to myself, to type it, even seems like blasphemy. but it must be said. i hate cake. i do not hate its taste, the spongy sheet, the frosting, if we dissect it bit by bit i don't even hate the butter, flour, eggs... in actuality, i love all these things, i love the moist crumb, the dense buttercream... i hate cake.

i hate cake because of its insistent desire to come between me and my jeans. ...or more appropriately, it's intense desire to come out. over. my jeans.

but it's important to love. so i took the ultimate sacrifice and enjoyed my third piece of cake just now. 3 minutes ago. and am still licking the delicious particles of dark chocolate enhanced by kona coffee out of my braces. braces-- the gift that keeps on giving. not only will they straighten my snaggles, but also provide little snacks for me here and there.

i've wanted to make a delicious chocolate cake ever since i saw the abandoned canister of hershey's dark cocoa powder in my mother's cabinet. i pilfered the said receptacle and hurried the lonely thing over to my own apartment, ready to dive into the classic recipe printed on back. (i remember the recipe on back being very good from my baking days as a fat kid.) but upon looking, i decided it might be good to make some changes. because you know, i see no changes, all i see is racist faces... and i wanted to change that.

i digress. here is the recipe for cake of awesome.

HERSHEY'S PERFECT CHOCOLATE CAKE...

adapted with added perfect to make more perfect than said perfect cake.

2 cups sugar

1 3/4 cups flour

3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

2 tsp baking soda

1 tsp baking powder

1 tsp salt

2 eggs

1 cup buttermilk*

1 cup coffee

1/2 cup oil

2 tsp vanilla

combine dry ingredients in large bowl. in separate bowl mix together the eggs, buttermilk, (slightly cooled) coffee, oil and vanilla. in two equal parts, add the dry ingredients into wet. mix until just combined! pour into 9'' pan and bake at 350F for 45 minutes or until toothpick inserted in middle comes out with minimal crumb.

FOR ICING... cream 1 cup unsalted butter. in separate bowl sift 3 cups powdered sugar, and 3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder. add to the creamed butter and when incorporated, mix in 2 tsp vanilla, 4T milk, and a pinch of salt.

cut the cooled cake in half and decorate, make beautiful to heart's content. ...or you know, just cut off a piece of that sucka cake, drop a big booty scoop of icing on top and go to town.

don't literally go to town though. this cake does not look too attractive in teefs. believe me. i know.

* i used a cup of milk with 1T vinegar mixed in. not great for drinking, but does well for baking purposes in the seoul of korea where buttermilk is but a myth.

BELATED VALENTINES

HAPPY BELATED VALENTINES DAY. thank goodness for the time difference, i am only about... uhm.. 3 days late.... anyway. valentines day, a day we all have mixed feelings about, singles and couples alike. on valentine's day there was an onslaught of flourless chocolate torte recipes floating around, i had previously chosen a variation including rum... but my endeavors were thwarted by the korean grocery's lack of liquor selection.

and thus. the classic flourless chocolate torte. made a little fancier with the addition of a mango coulis.

instagram makes errythang look good. recipe is pretty straight forward, the most difficult thing being having the patience required to whip up the egg whites into stiff peaks... and then only eating a small slice. and without further rambling here is the recipe. for the mango coulis, one mango, pureed, set through a strainer and refrigerated.

sunshine and daisies

i miss riding my bike. there are about 5078.4 things running through my brain right now, but because i am on vacation, the thoughts are too disjointed to work itself into a coherent and cohesive post. costco card. i just wanted to work another 'co' in there. what i will say right now, is that i am listening to beyonce's "love on top" and it reminds me of michael jackson. in a good way.

i promise i'll be more interesting one day.

it begins

in two months. i will start the baking blog. i will (possibly, maybe not...) sell baked goods. i will bake... every.... (again, possibly.. maybe not) day! i will be a baker! i will follow my dreams! i will..... well. i don't really know, but i will (hopefully) be proactive and not wake up 50 years from now wishing i had done something i didn't do.

don't sound very confident though, do i...?

smothered.

you can't leave me.

on to the next one

four more months. three and a half to be exact, and i will be done with my contract. partial year contract that turned into (almost) 2 year contract due to job issues. due to money issues. due to... issues. in general. and now we're back to decision making time again. feel like i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. what do i do and where do i do it. once i'm done doing what i gotta do... where do i go to continue doing whatever it is i'm doing...? the other night i had a dream i caught on fire. when i got a reminder that i needed to stop, drop and roll.

forgive me for being vague... but i think it's time to stop, drop and roll.

dream job

the lady there just walks around. gives directions. and paints huge pictures on the windows. why not me.

poker face.

yea. i don't have one. but goodness knows, i could benefit greatly from one...

pennies

this song makes you feel lonely. might make you want to dye your hair blonde, too.

...

ok you're right, i'm projecting.

sunshine sally

everyone around me thinks i am always happy.

this is true (for the most part). what do i have to be unhappy about? i have Jesus, i have a great family who loves me, and amazing friends. not to sound, "my life is so great blah blah blah" but.... it kind of is. i mean, we all have our setbacks, things that we complain about. but life can't be perfect, and if i am taking into account the lives of a lot of others around me... my life is pretty damn good. i have been blessed beyond what i believe i deserve. anyway... this is not just a post about how great life is... so i'm going to jump to the nitty of it.

yesterday, i had a conversation with someone... he basically told me that it's very difficult to trust me because i hold back, and am (he didn't say this, but i can't find a better word for it) shady. shady meaning... he can't gauge who i really am and he believes that what he sees or observes in me, is... not the real me.

this is difficult to assess. i am not offended in anyway, my initial reaction was actually surprise. i'm a classic example of someone who cannot hide in any way, shape or form, what they feel because my facial expressions give me away. i'm a horrible liar, and if i am completely honest about it... there's really nothing for me to hide. sitting here writing this all out, i am still very much confused.

i responded in such way, because i am a weird person, i nodded, listened... and searched for reasons as to why i might be shady. told him that i do have a chameleon personality, mimicking those around me... but never really thought of that as shady... just my way of being comfortable and having those around me comfortable too. it's just something thats interesting to think about...

and thus ends another memorable hweshik. i also caught on fire last night and have a beautiful blister to show for it. i'm actually quite hesitant to pop it... we've become fast friends.

ah suga suga

i never realized what a strong bond we had, how much i relied on you to pick me up, to give me a little something extra during the day. in six days, we will be reunited. will you remember me? can you ever forgive me for deserting you? this relationship, i know, is borderline toxic... but how can something that feels so right, be wrong? i know i've never said it, but i think i'm ready now. absence has only made my heart grow fonder. i love you, sugar. always and forever. let's be together and never leave each other again.

it's only been four days.

6 more, and i'mma eat a family size cake, yo.

i like you too, baby.

this blog has quickly taken a turn to the creeper, materialistic, shallow end of the pool. i guess now i'm just being more honest. the cards are on the table now. i am.... a sexual predator.

pc. someone creepier than i.

you lookin' good.

you lookin' real good. joseph gordon levitt, i've loved you since third rock from the sun... and your running on the wall and going into peoples dreams in inception has just perpetuated that love. that being said, let's get married.

i'm sorry daniel henney, but that bleach job and dirty sanchez look you got going on isn't working for me. it's time to move on. it's not me, it's you.

OUTSIDERS

one of my favorite books. erin wasson be bustin' some greaser steeze here. too bad the girl in the far right looks like she might be a soc. maybe her name is cherry... my job is really taking over my life.

pc.knightcat

these shoes look like...

yea.

viashopbop

we come in peace

all we ask for is food. give us your food and no one will get hurt.

i'm tired.

i hate intensives.

my mom

is sunphobic.

i like to eat

SPICY AHI POKE. even though we almost had to battle some moke tittas in the parking lot, it was worth it. ONO SEAFOODS on kapahulu, you've given me one more thing from the aina to miss. next time i'm gonna ask for half spicy half shoyu... that'd be bomb.