poker face.

yea. i don't have one. but goodness knows, i could benefit greatly from one...

pennies

this song makes you feel lonely. might make you want to dye your hair blonde, too.

...

ok you're right, i'm projecting.

sunshine sally

everyone around me thinks i am always happy.

this is true (for the most part). what do i have to be unhappy about? i have Jesus, i have a great family who loves me, and amazing friends. not to sound, "my life is so great blah blah blah" but.... it kind of is. i mean, we all have our setbacks, things that we complain about. but life can't be perfect, and if i am taking into account the lives of a lot of others around me... my life is pretty damn good. i have been blessed beyond what i believe i deserve. anyway... this is not just a post about how great life is... so i'm going to jump to the nitty of it.

yesterday, i had a conversation with someone... he basically told me that it's very difficult to trust me because i hold back, and am (he didn't say this, but i can't find a better word for it) shady. shady meaning... he can't gauge who i really am and he believes that what he sees or observes in me, is... not the real me.

this is difficult to assess. i am not offended in anyway, my initial reaction was actually surprise. i'm a classic example of someone who cannot hide in any way, shape or form, what they feel because my facial expressions give me away. i'm a horrible liar, and if i am completely honest about it... there's really nothing for me to hide. sitting here writing this all out, i am still very much confused.

i responded in such way, because i am a weird person, i nodded, listened... and searched for reasons as to why i might be shady. told him that i do have a chameleon personality, mimicking those around me... but never really thought of that as shady... just my way of being comfortable and having those around me comfortable too. it's just something thats interesting to think about...

and thus ends another memorable hweshik. i also caught on fire last night and have a beautiful blister to show for it. i'm actually quite hesitant to pop it... we've become fast friends.